Local Musician Puts the Funk in Functioning Alcoholic

The stage lights go on in the upstairs room at Diver’s Pizzeria and Brewhouse. It’s a Tuesday night in the Old City, when the stillness of the evening is interrupted by a burst of bass. The room jumps to life with the rhythm flowing from the fingers of one Calhoun Jackson, bassist of local band Papa John and the Dominoes. Jonathan “Papa John” Eppenberger, lead … Continue reading Local Musician Puts the Funk in Functioning Alcoholic

Out of Old TV Shows to Reboot, Hollywood Turns to Viral Videos

If you have kept up with the latest in modern cinema, you have undoubtedly noticed that there is an increasing number of rebooted TV shows, of which no one has heard hitting the theaters. Much of this is due to Hollywood’s need to capitalize on high school and college students not being aware that the movies coming out are based on previous properties. For example, … Continue reading Out of Old TV Shows to Reboot, Hollywood Turns to Viral Videos

#OscarsSoOld—Child Actor Boycotts Academy Awards Over Lack Of Age Diversity

Citing a lack of age diversity among the 2016 Oscar nominees, child actor Jacob Tremblay recently announced that he will boycott the 88th annual Academy Awards. The 9-year-old stars alongside Best Actress front-runner Brie Larson in Lenny Abrahamson’s Room. The film received four nominations, including Best Motion Picture, Best Director and Best Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role. However, Tremblay’s performance received no … Continue reading #OscarsSoOld—Child Actor Boycotts Academy Awards Over Lack Of Age Diversity

My Father Was The 145 Year-Old Guitar Kurt Russel Smashed In ‘The Hateful Eight’ And I Don’t Plan On Forgiving Him Anytime Soon

By Doyle Martin By now I’m sure everyone has caught wind of the prop scandal surrounding The Hateful Eight, but for those of you that haven’t: the Martin Museum of Art lent an antique six-string guitar to Quentin Tarantino for the filming of his definitive ensemble western—a guitar that was promptly smashed to pieces by Kurt Russel on-screen. Sounds pretty bad, doesn’t it? It gets … Continue reading My Father Was The 145 Year-Old Guitar Kurt Russel Smashed In ‘The Hateful Eight’ And I Don’t Plan On Forgiving Him Anytime Soon

[NSFW] Trendsetter Kanye West Becomes Butt Of Joke In Tangerine Article

Proctologists across the nation are reporting a sudden influx of male patients with foreign objects stuck in their rectums, leading many to cite Kanye West as an influence. West, a god, hip-hop artist, and early 2020 presidential front-runner, made headlines last week when his ex-girlfriend Amber Rose tweeted about West’s sexual preferences. “Awww @kanyewest are u mad I’m not around to play in ur asshole … Continue reading [NSFW] Trendsetter Kanye West Becomes Butt Of Joke In Tangerine Article

Spotify USA Creative Team on Strike as Company Introduces “Shows”

NEW YORK – The Creative Team at Spotify has gone on strike following the introduction of “Shows” early Thursday. Shows are a new addition to Spotify’s ever expanding library of content. This new category is the company’s way of adding podcasts to the system without falling into the legal trap of calling them “Podcasts.” Spotify’s creative team is not too keen on the new category, … Continue reading Spotify USA Creative Team on Strike as Company Introduces “Shows”

Harry Potter Fan Devastated by Loss of Wallet

Local sophomore and long-time Harry Potter fan Derek Oppenheimer revealed yesterday that he is “deeply saddened” by the loss of his wallet. “I woke up yesterday morning and couldn’t find my wallet anywhere,” said Oppenheimer, who has read and reread all seven Harry Potter books enumerable times and regards the movies as the definitive entertainment of his childhood. “I could hardly believe it—I’m still having … Continue reading Harry Potter Fan Devastated by Loss of Wallet